Saturday, January 3, 2009

The quickest post readysetgo

Hello, small world. I hope 2009 is the best year yet for you!

This is the quickest post before I disappear into a temporary land without a cell, cable, the internet...etc.

Here's the thing...

I just started doing some serious research about Geodon withdrawl ... and there are some scary stories out there. I wish I could conduct my own ESP survey at the speed of light and reach ALL Geodon-takers in the world and magically compute everyone's results ... because: what is the representation of online forums? Are patients generally happy with their results less likely to jump on a forum and sing praises? ...or what about those who are just satisfied. Probably not motivation enough to spread info. Realistically, we're dealing with people AT LARGE NOT ALTOGETHER who rely on prescription drugs to get through the day-to-day...or is that inaccurate?

What I'm finding, in sum, is generally scary crap about a lot of engineered chemicals that are now completely physically necessary for me to sleep. If not--if I don't take Geodon for one night--I experience severe withdrawal...insomnia, lightheadedness, chills, etc.

My dream (and I know it is not advisable and is in-line with other bipolar "delusions"):

One day... I will find a place in this world where I can first...detox. Flush all of these ultimately harmful chemicals from my system and then-- I know I can't return to American society. Not what I'm used to. I want to find a place in life where the going's a little...easier. Maybe that place only exists in my dreams... but, if that place doesn't exist here, I dream next of simply BEING, living, as chemically-free and organically as possible.

One day... I hope I don't end up with tardive.

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